The Great Blind Ambition

by Half Man

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released May 5, 2016

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Track Name: Whisper On The Wind
I bought a different brand of whiskey
for every Sunday of every week
I put a note up on my window
and it said, “don’t go, stay if you please”
I should’ve tried to be somebody
that had money instead of a dream
I should’ve sold my soul to devils
for any amount of currency
oh but I’m sure all that money
wouldn’t mean a thing

I tried to bury my whole body
on a journey of several different drugs
I traveled a many-liquored mile
just to wake up in that same old rising sun
I should’ve followed like a soldier
and took my orders to a grave
I should’ve given up on insight
and let some joker in a book have my name
oh but I’m sure giving up my freedom
wouldn’t mean a thing

one night I went to karaoke
with some strangers that I met
and I picked up that plastic microphone
and I gave it from my chest
while a few girls I was with
kept popping out to do cocaine in a line
while I was running through the vodka
you were running through my mind
oh and I’m sure that giving up on you
wouldn’t mean a thing

I’ve become like a whisper:
too scared to be a voice
I’m in the air like wind:
too free to make a choice
Track Name: Pen And Paper
I click my pen upon my temple for over an hour straight
I tap my feet within a rhythm while my body stays in place
yeah all a man can do is wait
inspiration never spoke up from my brain

I bang my head into the window till the window’s giving in
I wipe the blood right off my forehead and I try and try again
to put the words upon the page
what I’m feeling, I just don’t know how to say

and there’s red, red blood to show my pain
I wish it would turn to poetry
because right now that’s all I have in me

I watched you through a mirrored window while you put your make-up up
and as the wedding bells were chiming, you were someone I could touch
and I look through you to the sky
where maybe angels know a handful of my whys

the daughters hang along the bride and anxiously wait for their turn
but they’re too young to know that love is kind but love is meant to burn
and when it all comes to an end
you are that much closer to where you begin

so when I pick up my pen and I think about the time we spent
I soon remember how difficult it is to talk with a pen
I can’t articulate our love
when a pen and piece of paper is all I got

now there’s cheap, cheap rum pumping through my veins
and you’re too damn far to see my pain
why don’t you come and ease my way
because I can’t write a damn thing
no, I can’t write a damn thing
Track Name: Through The Teeth
through the teeth came the lying
through my lies came a storm
and to the heart that I kept on my shelf:
I do not own you anymore

I knew I was stretching love
about as far as it could go
but in my youth I put make-up on the things
that were too naked to be shown

I sat inside a famous painting
and saw the world from a grave
I saw everyone I hated
and had a chance to say their name
but I just let them go
yeah I just let them go

through a mirror came reflection
through my image came a cause
and to the one of the other side of my eyes:
you’ve been too lenient with your flaws

everything had been distorted
everything that I had seen
truth had been just a house that I had built
from the anchors of a dream

I sat inside that house, it crumbled
the pieces came down upon me
but once I arose from the rubble
I knew what it meant to be free
and I couldn’t let it go
and I didn’t let it go

I had to tell the truth
I had to make you hurt
unhindered by precious guilt:
I was free

through the ashtray came a lesson
through the nicotine that burned
you were 312 miles away
when I realized you were gone
Track Name: Not The One You Need
I can always find the words to shadow all the wrong
I can always twist and turn until the moment’s gone
I could break you down or I could break you up
I could keep you safe and sound, I could fill your empty cup
I could lay a fairy tale, yeah I could spin a yarn
I could give you what you want and we could build this house of cards
but I’m just laying bones, yeah I’m engraving names
I’m painting you a picture inside a paper frame

go on home
I’m not the one you need
sail on home
catch that new western breeze
and sail on home

I’m not the kind of one who has a changing soul
I can let you in but I can’t let you go
so with a heavy heart, I beat around the bush
I hold on to forever, I put forever into cuffs
I look into your eyes, as clear as day to night
and then I tell you, “baby, everything is gonna be alright”
Track Name: 51 To Mobile
Florida morning in a hotel room
it’s a waking dream but I gotta leave soon
I passed out drunk with a pile of friends
the sun leans in and it’s all gotta end
and it’s not much to see
but I can’t muster up a goodbye

now I’m a restless mind on a restless road
the blue skyline unfolds and folds
things will come and things will go
yeah the more I learn, the less I know

say goodbye to southern east
Florida, my sweet dream
say goodbye to all the times that we had
and don’t look back

these yellow lines are telling me
that I could go which way I please
north or south, west or east
but home is where I set my feet

and in between every border
there’s a chance to pull onto the shoulder
and redecide which way we’re going back to
redefine which road we’re gonna stick to
it’s 51 to Mobile, you and me

hold my hand and hold my heart
hold on to the way we are
tomorrow could be something fierce,
but I’ll, oh I’ll, I’ll be there
Track Name: Arizona Summer Observation
in the Arizona Summer
late comes the night
a hot breeze rolls in
in the air, a domestic fight
and I think about the mother
and I think about the son
and I wonder if the father has intention
yeah, will he be the one

to tell the kid he’s lazy
and tell him he should fear
and that the world is just a-waitin’
for him to disappear
and when the curtains open,
will he step into the light
when his opportunities are over,
will he crumble in the night

and the story takes me deeper
into something I remember
the scene returns so freely
when my father lost his temper
when my chin was pointed up
and the heat was coming down
and there were tears until I shook
but that was then and this is now

and I look into the stars
to cut that train of thought
if you misplace where you’re standing
you might get tangled up
Track Name: One Night On Rainey St.
cement wandering on my feet
sidewalk looking back at me
I follow close to street lamp light
deep into the night

I got close to holding you
but close just never seems to do
I was in the lucky lane
but you know luck never stays the same

I’m in my own night
when the stars and moon
are looking at me like I’m the fool
yeah I’m in my own night
when the crowds are gone
and I’m thinking of you in the dark

fumble keys and open door
know what all sad songs are for
I desperately look to my phone
quick reminder: I’m alone

after every shaky end
and before something else begins
you’ll be fearless in between
you’ll be lonely just like me

I never learned a god damn thing
about myself acting in your play
now I’m looking into this precious night
and I know it’s all mine
Track Name: Either Way, Still Here
I’m playing what I wrote
I’m fumbling by the bars
I don’t know anything
that I do with this guitar
I talk to random folks
I’m spreading out my roots
I’m buying all the drinks for
a pair of ears that I can’t lose

is it fear that I’m facing
or am I face to face with my own defeat
either way, I’m just guessing
either way, I’m still here

everything is by the books
I’m learning all the rules
I’m waiting in the lines
‘cause I’m paying all my dues
I’m singing to the strangers
they’re sucking down my soul
I’m doing what I can
to keep my head above the hole

waking up on the eastside
two lonely bodies in bed
I crawl my way out through lamplight
already miss your breath on my neck
I grab my guitar and my suitcase
and I leave you a note at the door
it read, "this love will be lost in time,
so I don’t know what I came here for"